Accelerated Birthing Class

At our hospital, they have community outreach classes, including Childbirth Classes. They have different types of childbirth classes based on intensity and frequency: a 4-week class, a two-day weekend class, and a one-day Saturday class. Of course, we took the one-day Saturday class. Jim thought it was going to be all touchy-feely, yoga-new-age, and other hyphenated horrors. I assured him that it was going to be very technical and informational.


So we show up promptly at 9AM, which is on time (for the class), late (for me), and early (for all the other participants). We meet Brenda, the doula who is teaching the class, but the first thing we notice about the room is that there is touchy-feely, yoga-new-age music playing. We also notice that in our packets is a workbook that has words like "feelings" and pictures of dads holding pregnant moms' stomachs and smiling like dopes. So Jim's reaction is to laugh uncontrollably for about 10 minutes, until the class started.

After the music stopped and Brenda started teaching, the class went pretty smoothly. We first had to introduce ourselves and also say things about ourselves like when we were due, gender of the baby, and what we purchased last for the baby. I spoke for us and said we were due in December, we were having twins (which is still apparently different enough to earn gasps even from other pregnant couples), and that the last thing I bought was toilet paper.

Anyway, we learned about different stages of labor and breathing techniques. We took a tour of the labor and delivery floor, where I had already been earlier that week for my now weekly non-stress tests (fetal heartbeat monitoring). I was surprised when they mentioned that rooming-in was standard. That is when the babies stay in the mom's room after birth. Most hospitals have that as an option only (they would otherwise take them away to a nice room where babies cry silently and more capable people called nurses take care of them). Oh well, the sleepless nights will just start earlier for us then.

We also saw videos ("Miracle of Life 2") of 4 births, one of which was a twin birth. I made myself watch even though I wanted to put my hands in front of my face and watch through my fingers, which is what I do during horror movies. I guess it wasn't too bad. The first two times I saw births on videos ("Miracle of Life") in both 7th grade Science and 9th grade Biology, it was horrific and shocking, particularly in 7th grade because my mother had always told me that my sister and I were born when a nice doctor took us out of her stomach via the scar that was there. Truth and lies.

Anyway, the class ended with Brenda leading us through some more breathing and visualization exercises, and Jim looking at his watch.

As a pregnancy update, I am in week 32. I am now scheduled for weekly non-stress tests, OB appointments, and ultrasounds. As of next week, I'm officially on leave from work and not supposed to do very much except rest with my sausage feet and ankles raised up. Except for the swelling and weight, I'm still feeling good! Slow but good.